When we went through our miscarriage last year I felt like many people wanted to help but were unsure of what to do or say. Since miscarriage is surprisingly common, and chances are it will happen to someone else you know, I decided to write the guide that I wish had been available for people then. What I really hope is that no one ever needs to use this guide, but if you do, I hope our experience can at least provide some comfort for others.
When it comes to choosing a baby name, my husband and I have very different styles. I like to envision how the name would look on a resume, wedding invitation, and newspaper headline proclaiming the winner of the 2052 presidential election. Just to cover all my bases, I also like to try out prince or princess in front of any potential name, on the completely realistic chance that he or she will one day marry George or Charlotte and bring some southern style to Buckingham Palace.
Last night my husband and I planned to attend what we thought was a church fundraiser. It had been advertised in the church bulletin for weeks, and I had carefully clipped out the information to display on our bulletin board. The advertisement promised a barbecue dinner, casino games, and prize drawings. We’d been looking for ways to meet other young couples in our parish, and this casino night seemed to be the perfect solution. Hopefully we’d get to know some people, but, if not, we’d still have a good time and benefit the church.
Were we ever wrong.
When you have a chronic disease, you spend a lot of time wondering why. In the months immediately after I was diagnosed with type 1 diabetes, all I could wonder was “Why me?.” I spent more time than I’d like to admit thinking of other girls who “deserved” to suffer more than I did.
Maybe they weren’t as nice, maybe they didn’t work as hard, or maybe they just needed a little hardship in their perfect lives. (By the way, I’m fully aware that many girls are nicer than I, work harder than I, and think my own life is perfect, but, please, cut twenty-three year old, newly diagnosed me some slack.)